Turning Away

Jeremiah 3:13-14 Only acknowledge your iniquity, that you have transgressed against the Lord your GOD and have scattered your charms to alien deities under every green tree, and you have not obeyed My voice, says the LORD. "Return, O backsliding children," says the LORD, "for I am married to you."

To my credit, I am a fierce defender of those whom I love, and a huge supporter of those who would be considered "underdogs." To my detriment, I also have a retaliatory nature…and my words can be a cutting, hot knife that can draw heart's blood in an instant. Coupled with discernment, I rarely miss my target. The LORD'S gift surely I wield both ways.

Lately, I confess…I have enjoyed the cutting jabs at people, in particular, those involved in a ministry that in my opinion flounders about with little knowledge or understanding. Still, some involved are GOD'S…those who truly belong to GOD I damaged in my taking aim at those who dealt wounds to me. I had become callous and uncaring, ready and able to affect revenge and make a mockery of the so-called ministry.

Here is my transgression…the self-righteousness, the pride, the lack of empathy, the hardness of heart…here is the scattering of my charms. After attempts to try to reason with those who had wronged me and were not representing Christ, I did not pray for them. I did not feel led to. I race after my "feelings" rather than what I know to be true and right. I ignored the call to pray for the Body of Christ, to pray for my enemies, to stand mute while wrongly accused. I failed to allow the LORD to defend me. I ignored my LORD.

This passage, this call to return to HIM nearly broke my heart in two. The LORD said, "For I am MARRIED to you." Marriage…HIS commitment to me to protect me, to hide me away…I ignored HIS covering. I jumped in to handle things on my own and sure enough, once I was outside HIS divine leadership, I became nothing less than a brute. He was calling and calling for HIS Bride…for me…and I ignored HIM…the ONE WHO loves me best, knows me best, WHO sacrificed all HE could possibly to have my charms to HIMSELF. HE was calling for my attention, for my affection. Instead, I ran after another lover, like the very harlot I accused others of being. I did not heed HIS call to peace between the brethern.

Oh repentance! Oh my LORD! My HUSBAND! I am here! I have returned! Take me back! Hide me again in the shelter of YOUR wings. Forgive me for the damages. Cleanse me. This is my heart's cry. To be softened and gentle again…to be the Bride HE created me to be. To trust HIM to handle all matters that buffeted me throughout the storm I was in.

How terrible to have become what I hate. ...