Angel of Light

2 Cor 11: 13-14 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. And no marvel, for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.

This scripture was recently brought to my mind after an encounter with one such false apostle. The person was strong in the WORD, but as with all things, his true character was revealed over time.

Satan's power is in striking quickly...and I can be an easy target. I enjoy conversing with intelligent people and tend to be a little too warm and accepting. While this serves me well within trusted groups of friends, it is a dangerous character flaw in the world of chatrooms.

The party of whom I speak...I will call him Thomas for aninimity's sake...sent me an instant message after we had conversed in a chatroom. We discussed many biblical topics, and I found myself drawn to befriend him. He was a very knowledgeable, interesting person. Later I would discover that he was lost to the many maladies from which he suffered...and was quite willing to dwell on them. From the havoc being a junkie had wracked on his body, to the sexual identity crisis from early abuse, to his current dependency on prescription narcotics, this man seemingly was deserving of pity.

I came to realize however, pity is a useless feeling, for it only fed the fire of his narcissim. He would rail against all the christians he knew...how they failed him over and over, and would complain that no one ever called him; yet most the time his phone was unplugged. He would bemoan his deep depression, but yet did nothing to get out of bed during the day. He wallowed in his past, hated his present, and talked endlessly about his future as a Prince of the Most High God and how he would eventually sit in judgement of all who had hurt him. He was adament that the "elect of God" would be able to bar entry of offenders into the Kingdom at the White Throne Judgement.

I would listen to him indulging in this fantasy, and meanwhile, would tred carefully around sensitive topics. I would listen to him malign everyone...from his parents, to his ex wife, to his children, friends and even his pastor. No one was exempt from his judgement...and I was no exception. I merely waited for the other shoe to drop.

I found myself constantly trying to diffuse sticky conversations and avoid certain mood swings...which were of course attributed to bipolar disorder rather than a lack of self control. One night, while trying to assist him with reinstating his phone service because he had shut the service off then changed his mind, he began to belittle me....and there was the other shoe. (really, more of a steel toed boot).

When pursued, he ran. When confronted, he balked. When I pointed out I had helped him in every conceivable way including financially, he threw a tantrum and insisted all I cared about was money. I could almost see the demon in him sneering at me. After a final attempt to reason with him, I closed the door.

I am hesitant to call evil good and good evil. However, when someone claims Christ, their words and actions had better line up with at least an attempt to emulate Him. Thomas held few Christ-like qualities, and given his lack of peace, lack of joy, lack of understanding, lack of self control, lack of kindness, lack of forgiveness, lack of love...all fruits of the Spirit that naturally accompany a walk with Christ, there is nothing else to call him, but a false apostle.

He would rather wait for the alleged judgement of the saints so he could have revenge on anyone who had crossed him than to make peace according to the WORD. He would rather chew on onxycodone than call his pastor to confess and hold himself accountable. He would rather sleep his day away and mope around, rather than turn his eyes out to others in need.

I confess I was hurt by this man. The Lord had given me a burden in my heart for him...a supernatural love for him that enabled me to withstand his verbal assaults and try to be a peacemaker. I am certain I made mistakes...but I know the LORD saw my heart was to serve...to bless...until enough time had passed and the LORD released me from the burden.

I still do not know why the LORD used me to try to minister to Thomas, when he is so obviously lost. Perhaps it is because HE is not willing that any should perish. Perhaps it is because no one can last long ministering to such a hedonist. Perhaps it was only for the purpose of teaching me to have more patience, more grace, more forgiveness.

Thomas had warned me not to cast my pearls before swine....he didn't warn me that he was one of them.